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About Me Deviant Member QueenCthulhuFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 3 Years
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Statistics 7 Deviations 24 Comments 1,475 Pageviews
So, after being stuck in literally every part of the state during these past two weeks, I have come across milestone after milestone. As I have a myriad of times before in my short life, I have found that I have made it through yet another seemingly impassible well of sorrow and hardship. For the first time in years, I began using art as a sanctuary again, and have found comfort beyond any consolidation. It certainly seems to me that I have been asleep in many ways-I hadn't lost the ability to simply draw or write whatever I wish to-it had simply been dormant. What bothers me is my utter lack of understanding as to how or why; but, sometimes I suppose I must be sated without all the answers instantaneously.

My physical pain has increased dramatically, especially with the two-month cessation of methadone-but I am happier with myself without it, as I realize I have a huge fucking problem with pain, which means I have a considerably larger problem with painkillers. I'm finally starting to really, REALLY suffer the repercussions of my necessary use, but for now I have to make an unfortunate compromise. The nausea I experience is also magnified intensely-on the Greyhound from Oakland (much to poor Gary's horror), I became uncontrollably ill, and vomited blood and food and other puke pals on an electric blanket Aja had given me hours before. I vomited again in my hands. This is unfortunately only the most recent experience; I even spent the majority of my "vacation" without the ability to do anything at all...
Luckily, I still got to see Amebix play in the bay, which is all I could have asked to in my darkest hour. Hahah. I can at least go forth feeling like I can die having served my purpose. It was that badass.

So, aside from all the bullshit, Keith from Hellshock asked me to do some artwork for them. I know I said that in a casual sentence, but I have literally been on the brink of soiling my undies in excitement, drawing non-stop, and using that as motivation to stop loathing myself so much. Wow. I need to go and flap my hands around spasmodically for about a half hour.

"In darkness there is no hope"...!
  • Listening to: Motorhead
  • Reading: Fucking SSI paperwork
  • Eating: Pills
  • Drinking: Pill Flushing Solution aka "water"

Devious Info

  • Current Residence: Raccoon City, California
  • Favourite movie: Basket Case, The Big Lebowski, Dead/Alive, Shivers, Creepers, nature documentaries.
  • Favourite band or musician: Persona Non Grata, The Stalin, G.I.S.M., Stalin, early punk/thrash/crust/deathrock, and lots moar!1`
  • Skin of choice: Whichever fits best.
  • Favourite game: I enjoy nearly all video games. Yes, I play WoW.
  • Favourite gaming platform: NES/SNES/PS/PC
  • Favourite cartoon character: Spawn.
  • Personal Quote: "I'll show you a place where nobody can find it."
  • Tools of the Trade: Show no mercy.

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:iconmikelpodolak:
i came to visit...but weren't here.
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:iconmikelpodolak:
found you over here
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:iconuselesshumanwaste:
thanks a lot for the :+fav:!! =)
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:iconmetahedron:
[link]
The ';passionate hash' melody.
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:icongalvaorod:
~galvaorod Jan 23, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Chtulhu! Like in Lovecraft lore? Wow!
Welcome Master!

--
"Bad art is more tragically beautiful than good art because it documents human failure"
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